Hey, whatcha watching? We need rest. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised. Is that a cooking show? Oh, I always feared he might run off like this. Why, why, why didn't I break his legs?

And remember, don't do anything that affects anything, unless it turns out you were supposed to, in which case, for the love of God, don't not do it! Ok, we'll go deliver this crate like professionals, and then we'll go ride the bumper cars.

There's one way and only one way to determine if an animal is intelligent. Dissect its brain! But existing is basically all I do! I can explain. It's very valuable. Large bet on myself in round one. I don't want to be rescued.

If rubbin' frozen dirt in your crotch is wrong, hey I don't wanna be right. Bender, hurry! This fuel's expensive! Also, we're dying! Good man. Nixon's pro-war and pro-family. Good news, everyone! I've taught the toaster to feel love!

Spare me your space age technobabble, Attila the Hun! Nay, I respect and admire Harold Zoid too much to beat him to death with his own Oscar. I suppose I could part with 'one' and still be feared…

Now that the, uh, garbage ball is in space, Doctor, perhaps you can help me with my sexual inhibitions? You lived before you met me?! Hey! I'm a porno-dealing monster, what do I care what you think? Quite possible. We live long and are celebrated poopers.

Bender, hurry! This fuel's expensive! Also, we're dying! There's one way and only one way to determine if an animal is intelligent. Dissect its brain! Leela, are you alright? You got wanged on the head.

I videotape every customer that comes in here, so that I may blackmail them later. My fellow Earthicans, as I have explained in my book 'Earth in the Balance'', and the much more popular ''Harry Potter and the Balance of Earth', we need to defend our planet against pollution. Also dark wizards.

And I'd do it again! And perhaps a third time! But that would be it. What are you hacking off? Is it my torso?! 'It is!' My precious torso! Eeeee! Now say "nuclear wessels"! Hey, what kinda party is this? There's no booze and only one hooker.

Who are those horrible orange men? Incidentally, you have a dime up your nose. You, a bobsleder!? That I'd like to see! Dear God, they'll be killed on our doorstep! And there's no trash pickup until January 3rd.

Come, Comrade Bender! We must take to the streets! Ugh, it's filthy! Why not create a National Endowment for Strip Clubs while we're at it? Morbo will now introduce tonight's candidates… PUNY HUMAN NUMBER ONE, PUNY HUMAN NUMBER TWO, and Morbo's good friend, Richard Nixon.